Years ago, I was part of a tabletop roleplaying group that met Friday nights. Unlike what you may have heard about roleplaying games (RPG’s), they are not entirely dominated by Cheetos-eating, Jolt-guzzling, pocket protector-wearing geeks with screechy voices. No, they are only mostly dominated by those types. Rarely, you get someone like me who is female, attractive, in shape, and sexy, but I digress. Point is, there are some truly amazing individuals who are into RPG’s and they are not all fat and out of shape social miscreants who have never gotten laid.
The friday night crew consisted of two very good friends and three new gaming companions. Almost instantly, emboldened by the fact that I was playing a saucy succubus, the new guys kicked it to me. It didn’t help my situation that I was playing a character named after that famous work of erotica, O, whose loose morals gave them a run for their money. When it comes to roleplaying, I do get into character and immerse myself in the story. Such was the case with O. To most gamer geeks seeing a woman rolling dice at the table is akin to Moses parting the Red Sea, so I don’t blame them too much.
If we’re being frank the truth is I like geeks and nerds and every single guy I have ever had a serious relationship with I met at the gaming table. It didn’t take long for them to discover, however, that their new gaming buddy was really a freak. Yes, I’ve always been of the Gothic persuasion, wearing my hair long and black and gravitating towards unorthodox uniform but this is not the kind of freak I’m talking about. I was a freak because I spent long hours writing character histories and sketching and delving into the mind of my characters.
Who was O? Where was she from? What made her tick? How old was she? Who were her friends? Enemies? So on and so forth–a veritable sea of questions that needed answering. I role-played through email and on the forums, obsessed about the storyline and suddenly the Game Master was at a loss. I was simply nuts. O had become my little obsession; one of many.
When it became clear that O had outlived her limited microcosm of the Friday night game, I indulged her secretly. I wrote short snippets of stories, dabbled in 3D programs trying to get her “just right” and even began my own graphic novel. In the end O didn’t hold my attention but one thing remained–her face.
Working in 3D makes me feel a bit like Pygmaleon. I have the power to create the being of my dreams; the characters of my soul. It’s incredibly seductive. When O stared back at me, I knew I had struck gold.
Many years later, when I began obsessing about another character; a sensual Soulbinder, known as Khajj, the thought struck me: Visually, she had already been born. I got to work immediately; molding, nudging and retooling until O was transformed into the beauty that Khajj is today.
Khajj is my Galatea. She has grown and evolved with my skills and with my tools. I have seen her flourish and become real before my very eyes. She has seduced me like O never could.